


killing me slowly

by etherealgh0st



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Angst, BC!TOP, Blood, Cigarettes, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Smut, age gap, felix!stripper, han!drug dealer, hyunjin!stripper, jeongin grew up in an orphanage which makes him han and felix bsf since childhood, jg!bottom, mentions of guns, minho!ceo, seungmin!ceo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealgh0st/pseuds/etherealgh0st
Summary: Jeongin’s hooded vision of staring at the closet located across his bed started to get blurry from the tears collecting in his eyes. Getting his mind fucked numb into the mattress by Chan would always make the knot of all the worries in his brain unclench, his loneliness wouldn’t be so conspicuous - and that’s all their relationship was.Sensual nights of vulnerable bodies in front of hungry eyes and static minds, pleasing and getting pleased in return with no feelings attached to it - something that became normal between the two one random night.orBeing afraid of showing his true feelings, so instead acts cold towards one to not get hurt, is Jeongin's great weakness. You could say Chan is his second.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	killing me slowly

**Author's Note:**

> hello, loves. i haven't posted something concrete on here for a while , only short scenarious on my twitter. but i've recently came up with a story i'll be working on. hopefully yall like it. unfortunately, unlike with my previous works, this one won't get fast updates since i'm pretty busy w final work and assignments and stuff.
> 
> enjoy your reading !

The crisp air of a spring’s afternoon lingered over his skin. Two previous shots of liquor still had a tingling effect in his throat, combined with the warmth of a building which he stepped out of sent a shiver down his body. 

His black polished shoes made a faint noise with every step he took down the more serene ally. The noise of a busy street now slowly fading away in the back. The young male pushed his hand in the pocket of his coat, taking out a half empty pack of cigarettes and a lighter. His long fingers, which worked the pack open to place the cigarette between his lips, were by now somewhat pale because of the coldness, each knuckle slightly painted with a pink color. 

A flicker of the lighter lit the white paper which covered the nicotine, an inhale or two caused the edge to burn, creating a cloud of smoke that vanished into thin air. The cold breeze blew it the opposite way of the male’s gait. His other hand got occupied by his phone on which he clicked onto a person’s number which is under the letter ‘C’ of the alphabetical order in his contacts. 

He took a long inhale, made a few light taps and pressed the screen of his phone against his ear as he made a turn on the right of the same building which he left out of. 

_ “Hello?”  _ \- a well known voice came from the other line of the call. 

“It’s done.” - he went straight to the point of the main reason why he called him. 

_ “Already?”  _

“I don’t know how you’re spending your time but talking to that perveted fuck for exactly two hours isn’t really ‘already’ to me.” - he spat. The flashback of subtle touches of a man who’s probably already in his 50’s morphed a disgusting expression on his face. An image appears in his mind of the  _ ‘innocent’  _ given smiles and laughter, it makes him take another inhale to feel the heavy smoke invading his lungs and calming his mind.

_ “Thought you quit smoking.” - _ the comment of the other line was brought up after the exhale which made a slight blowing noise against the speaker. 

“Well, I have to occupy my mouth with something. Don’t I, Chris?” - his provocative voice pulled an edge of the male’s plump lips upwards into a mere grin. The shiteating grin which he can feel through the phone. 

_ “What’s with the usage of that name all of a sudden?” _ \- the slightest sound of ruffling could be heard on his side which indicated to him that Chan was alone in his office.

“I don’t know. I just love how the ‘R’ feels on my tongue.” 

_ “Maybe you should feel something else with that tongue as well.” _ \- the cringe worthy comment managed to rail him up without much work put into it. Their teasing comebacks would always leave an effect on each other like stupid teenagers trying to flirt. Though he would never admit how stupidly low he can fall for whatever Chan does or says to him. But if he decides to answer to his teasful comments, it depending on his mood, each time he’d surprise the male with the vulgarness of his chosen words. 

His mind and appearance acting like two different people. 

“Then come to mine tonight. I told you I’m free tomorrow.” - the younger requested. A low chuckle could be heard on the other line, causing him to bite onto his bottom lip. Slightly fidgeting with his fingers which held the half burned cigarette by picking the edges of his nails with his thumb. 

_ “I’ll text you later.”  _

“You don’t need to announce it. I know you can’t sleep without hearing from me.” - he took the last inhale of the nicotine before he threw the burning cigarette on the concrete. 

_ “And now we’re cocky again.”  _

He walked in a faster pace towards the black car which just drove in front of him, coming to a halt with a screeching noise of the tires. 

“Goodbye, Chris.” - he spoke. Tapping on the red button without waiting for his response as he got in the backseat of the car which started to drive away from the place. 

He took off his unnecessary worn sunglasses, returning them back into its place of a channel packaging. His phone vibrated two times, notifying him with two new sent messages as only a grin painted his lips without making an effort to take a look at them. 

Only a glance at the rearview mirror to look back at the building run by a money eating company made him get sick at the thought of needing to put on a mask in front of them for his own beneficials. Though he finally feels free since he now cut the contract with them. Jeongin took a deep inhale which followed by a sigh before he closed his eyes to have a shuteye until they get to his apartment. 

  
  


\---

  
  


The spacious apartment that is occupied by only one person, most of the time being suffocated by silence, at nights like these a conversation shared with a couple of glasses of wine would always be followed by a sinful doing filling the air with occasional sounds of pleasure. 

“Chan _ \-  _ oh  _ fuck _ ” - thin layer of sweat covered their bodies. The silk white button up which was only unbuttoned half way, with their impatience and hormones working faster than their thinking he was left with the material sticking to his skin. Chan’s front pressing against his back only raised his body temperature even more, as he laid on his side, one leg being held by Chan’s arm while setting a pace of his thrusting into Jeongin’s hole. 

A blush blossomed on the younger’s cheeks as dark marks did on his neck. Chan’s busy mouth sucking out a few more on the crook of his neck which caused him to only get more vocal. 

“Such a good boy. Feel so fucking good around me - and always sound so pretty while taking me, hm?.” - Chan provoked him with his low voice vibrating against the shell of Jeongin’s ear. Something that he knows makes the boy go crazy. 

Chan’s girth stretched him perfectly, with slight pain in the beginning only for him to get used to his cock sliding against his walls causing pleasure to build up in his lower stomach as much as it made his eyes roll backwards with every harsh snap of his hips causing the tip to brush against his prostate. 

His hand slid over Jeongin’s inner thigh as he bent his knee of the said leg since his muscles started to become like jello. The constant clenching of the younger male’s hole around his cock drew him to the edge. With a small action of digging his nails into the softness of Jeongin’s thigh to try and restrict himself by calming his high which was slowly approaching, it creating small crescent shapes which would later turn into small pale bruises with the force of groping that Chan uses.

“Ah - fuck me harder. Chan, mh fuck - make me cum.”

“A golden word opens the gate, babe.” - he slowed down his pace. 

“ _ Chan _ .” - Jeongin snapped, turning his head to look back up at him in order to shoot a glare at his unnecessary comment and stupid grin that Jeongin new mocked his despreate behaviour. Wanting to get his brains fucked out though never begging for it properly. Well, begging the way Chan wanted to hear him beg. 

A second or two of silence felt like time froze to him. Looking down at him made him want to absorb every feature separately. Studying his face like he’d never seen him before. But each time he does, currently lewd way or an everyday experience of having the opportunity to see his cute unique features, it always manages to put him in a trance. 

Soft platinum strands stuck messily over his forehead making his appearance soft, combined with the blush on his cheeks and thin yet plump red bitten lips standing out. When his eyes shifted back to his gaze he could faintly distinct how his sharp look softened. 

*

The more vocal he got the faster it provoked Chan to thrust into him. He had the male’s face pushed into the pillow with the new, barely moved, position of straddling his one leg as his other one was bent aside. Chan’s cock perfectly slid between his asscheeks as the sound of his pelvis coming in contact with his ass echoed through the heavy air of Jeongin’s bedroom. 

“Mhh fuck,” - the closer he got to his high the more his mind went to moosh. Not being able to form proper sentences made him repeat a single string of cusses blending with his whines and whimpering. 

Jeongin’s hooded vision of staring at the closet located across his bed started to get blurry from the tears collecting in his eyes. Getting his mind fucked numb into the mattress by Chan would always make the knot of all the worries in his brain unclench, his loneliness wouldn’t be so conspicuous - and that’s all their relationship was. 

Sensual nights of vulnerable bodies in front of hungry eyes and static minds, pleasing and getting pleased in return with no feelings attached to it - something that became normal between the two one random night.

“ _ Chan _ ” - Jeongin’s voice cracked at the vowel of a moaned out name. His cum dripping down Chan’s hand which pumped his cock to the rhythm of his own thrusts. His body shook slightly at the intense orgasm that washed over him, mouth hung agape with his tear stained cheek resting against the pillow. 

The warmth of Chan’s broader body leaning over his whilst slowing down the pace made him feel secure. Chan’s own cum filled up the condom until he got too sensitive at Jeongin’s clenching walls - slowly pulling out of him. 

He planted a soft kiss on the younger’s cheek before he stood up in order to throw away the tied up condom. The feeling of his lips still lingered against his skin as he laid there, in the softness of his own sheets, his tired body not being capable of moving an inch.

With the last energy, against his will, he slowly laid on his back, the habit of pushing his fingers through his hair made him automatically remove the strands which were stuck against his forehead. 

Chan’s feet took him back towards the bed as he stopped beside it. Their eyes met for a few seconds of thoughts lingering above their heads, no words said out loud, before Jeongin’s gaze fell. 

\---

His nerves worked nonstop, having his bare feet slightly shake - ankles crossed over one another underneath the chair. Only Chan’s white buttodown which laid oversized on Jeongin’s smaller petite body and his own grey flannel pyjama pants protected him from the cold night on his balcony. 

“You smokers always manage to impress me.” - a voice snapped Jeongin back to reality, unlacing his lips away from biting onto the edges of his thumb, leaving a wet patch on the, now slightly red, skin. 

Chan’s figure made his way towards the set up to sit across the small table which consisted of a one more chair. The action of Jeongin’s finger tapping on the cigarette for the ash to fall off was not unseen by Chan’s investigative eyes. The bud of it came in contact between his lips again before white smoke was pushed out through his nostrils, the rest of it flowing out of his mouth and disappearing into thin air. 

His hooded eyes silently examined.

“What?” - Jeongin asked because of his staring.

“I have to meet up with Lee, tomorrow -”

“Who?” 

“Minho.” - Jeongin hummed an ‘mhm’ in acknowledgment. His gaze shifting from Chan’s stare back down at the ashtray whilst nibbling onto the inside of his mouth.

“We’ll discuss about the deal. If he approves I will text you to prepare the contract.” 

“Can’t you do it yourself?” 

“We won’t be meeting up at the building.” - Jeongin raised his eyebrow with a slight head shake, confused at his announcement. 

“He said he wants to go to the striptclub with me.” 

A tsk sound left his lips at his words. “I know his ex. So I’m not surprised at his way of ‘meeting up’”

“He’s a crazy bastard. Got his hands down and dirty to get where he is now. A fair guy. We get on his good side, form the trust, get that partnership and babe - we’re in. It’s a win for Kim’s company.” - Chan’s enthusiasm drew out a chuckle from him. Jeongin’s bottom lip got stuck between his teeth at the nickname, eyes lingering on the cigarette burning on the ashtray as his fingers played with his ear. 

“You’ll bring someone with you, right?” 

“Probably. What? You’re worried about me now, hm? Last time I checked my shot wound is still telling me otherwise.” - his provocative voice of a serious topic hardened Jeongin’s gaze. Just the flashback of the scenario of two years ago still haunts him till this day. 

“Can you stop joking about that?” - Jeongin asked rhetorically. A soft sound of an exhaled chuckle could be heard across him. The conversation slowly died down yet the atmosphere between them didn’t feel uncomfortable. Only Jeongin’s mind wandering from a thought to a thought.

The sound of a screeching chair getting slowly pushed backwards pulled him back to reality. His hand automatically dropping from his ear to grab the cigarette. Yet before he could take a smoke Chan’s hand looped around his wrist to stop him. His close presence of leaning down to place his lips around the bud to inhale it made Jeongin’s doe eyes absorb his features from up close. 

The never ending desire of being mesmerized by them would always rush the need to kiss every inch of him. As a result his lips parted slightly which left him looking up at the male like a hungry child for sweets. 

The white smoke perished once exhaled out of his plump lips. The eye contact was only broken when Jeongin rolled his eyes at Chan’s given grin. 

“I’ll get going now. Not even a kiss goodbye? A walk to the door?” - he gave Jeongin his puppy eyes and a head tilt. Only getting a glare of his tired eyes looking up at him before he turned towards the view of the city. 

“Ah, I get it. Jeonginnie got too flustered.” 

“Get out.” 

A laugh echoed from behind him, something that made Jeongin need to restrain himself from smiling at that pure sound by biting down onto his bottom lip. Without a warning the soft feeling of Chan’s lips came in contact with his neck, his presence close again, scent higher up in his nose buds. 

“I’ll kill you.” - Jeongin’s unmeant words warned. Body frozen in place as it silently desired for more of him.

“I would love to get killed by your pretty hands.” - Chan commented. Lips slowly moving over his neck to leave wet kisses over it. 

  
  


\---

“Good afternoon, Bang.” 

The secretary of his greeted the male once he stepped inside the building. Him only giving her his sweet smile and a polite nod while he was trying to put on the tux of his undone outfit. The sound of her heels stomping on the tiles echoed from behind him until she managed to follow up his speed. Once he stopped in front of the elevator, with no people around them, while doing his tie she spoke up again.

“You look demolished.” - she saw him struggle with the piece of the material, standing in front of him as she pushed his hands away with hers in order to do his tie instead. 

“You don’t ha-” - a sigh followed Chan’s unfinished sentence. 

“Did you even have a decent sleep? Or was 5am your bedtime as usual?” - the question made him remember last night’s venture in Jeongin’s bedroom of going for two rounds combined with wine, it automatically pulling a grin over his lips. Not realising Choi’s confused gaze which was looking up at him once she was done with his tie. 

“Oh - um, thanks. Yea, I slept okay. Don’t worry about me.” - Chan insured. They stepped inside the elevator as he pressed the button for the fifth floor.

“You know you’ll be meeting up with Lee tonight?”

“I arranged everything.” 

“Of course you did. Why does my job status even matter next to you when you do everything yourself.” - she sighed dramatically at his way of doing. Crossing her arms at her chest as she rested her back against the mirror of the elevator, getting a chuckle with a wide smile from the male cause of her stressed self. 

  
  


*

The fuzzy feeling of last night still had an effect on his brain as much as it did on his body. Leaving him with slow body movements and short concentration span. He called work to do the paperwork at home, dropping by the building to take a few folders and getting starbucks on his way home for a large extra macchiato to keep him on his feet.

The emptiness of his apartment started to bug him midway of having half of the paperwork done. The empty coffee cup was set aside his laptop on which he could read  _ 3:04pm,  _ building up the will in him to have his friends over before they’ll be busy with their work.

**me. 3:05pm**

i’ll order thai.

**lix. 3:09pm**

am on my way !

**han. 3:15pm**

i have to drop an order in 15’

you greedy fucks better wait for me

*

“Aren’t you uncomfy in suitpants?” - Felix commented at Jeongin’s wear of black suitpants and a matching half undone buttonup.

“I still had to drop by the office to get some paperwork. When i got back - guess I immediately started working on it without changing.” - Jeongin stuffed his mouth with a dumpling of his favourite flavor after finishing. Getting a hum in return from the blonde. 

“I have a feeling like you sleep in formal clothes.” - Jisung’s words were the next to comment from across the ‘bigger than necessary’ - as he called it; coffee table around which they were sitting on the floor. “Close. If I stay at the office at night I’m practically in them 24 hours.” 

“Last friday was your last day at that shitty company, right?” - asked Felix. 

“Mhm. So I’ll look at this dinner as a celebration.” - they shared a smile. 

“They’re treating you well here? I mean, yknow, not tripping you over ‘cause of what you did before?” - Felix’s soft gaze examined Jeongin as he drank his canned drink with a straw.

“No. They’re trying to help me and - they have Chan’s word. By now slowly giving me more work since I’m not working at two places anymore-” 

“Still can’t believe that bastard tried to blackmail you to stay.” - Jisung pushed his words through. Still worried about his best friend and his game play in such a serious business. “I swear, next time you have a problem just call me and I’ll deal with them.” 

Felix scrunched his nose while looking at him with a done look, Jeongin raising an eyebrow at his words as Jisung’s eyes shifted from one person to another. “What?” 

“With your short ass. Sure.” - he started to throw a little tantrum at Felix’s comment. Jeongin didn’t want to drop any word in their bickering to enjoy his food in peace. But when Jisung attacked his smug face and silent chuckles the three had a never ending battle of who deserves to actually be called tall.

  
  


\---

  
  


It felt to Chan like the car dropped him off hours ago. Sitting in a stript club by a bar discussing business stuff with Minho along a glass or even two by now of whiskey made him feel even more tired with the suffocating light of the club. With the color spectrum of pink and purple lights of the stage gave them only a decent amount of view range. 

“And as I said - the trust between me and the Kims is strong. He’s proven himself many times as much as his men did.” - Chan nodded along his words. Gaze shifting across the room as he recognized a few of his people. Himself only had two escorts since he didn’t see the need to bring more to a place like this one.

“Having a business together will be beneficial to both parties. Now - how about we do the signing some other day.” - the black haired male suggested. Extending his arm in order for the sleeve of his suit to pull back so he can drop an eye on his watch. “It’s around 11pm. I’ll buy us another round and you promise me to loosen up a bit.” 

An exhaled chuckle left past his grin at his words. If another person would be in question he’d definitely decline at his current state but now he had to accept his offer. 

“Partner?” - Minho quickly asked which took Chan by surprise as he shook his head. 

“Go sit there on the comfortable seats. I'll order the drinks.” - Chan followed Minho’s instructions with a hard will. Like in time just for them a new performance was announced as Chan took a seat on one of the, pointed out by Minho, seats. Already had to decline a lap dance before he saw Minho in his view point. With the small table between the two and their drinks set on the wood, the lights dimmed down a bit as two new male dancers accompanied the stage. 

One taller than the other as his black hair fell long in a neatly done ponytail. He managed to spot freckles on the other male’s cheeks which made him more investigative into him. Only when he came closer to the edge of the stage to get money placed on the hem of his shorts did he realize the coincidence of watching Jeongin’s friend’s performance. 

Their first and only meet was at Jeongin’s place when he stayed the night after a night of them needing each other's pleasure to reveal stress - the next morning the younger came uninvited since he had the key to the apartment and Chan will admit that their first encounter stuck as a more embarrassing memory to him. Both not knowing of each other's status to Jeongin and seeing Chan standing half naked in the kitchen as he tried to figure out the coffee machine left them both dumbfounded. 

Their eyes met in a brief few seconds as Chan realized the slight blown out morphation of his eyes at the sight of him in the crowds. Though he quickly went back to his professional self by putting on a lovable mask. His sweet smile was bit down by his front teeth, body rolling so naturally to the beat as it made every person in the front row get under a spell by his hips. 

He could feel two pair of eyes on himself. Nervousness builded up in him until he found the two innocent looking doe eyes of the other dancer. The contact of their gazes made the latter’s get hooded with want as a grin painted his plump lips. Chan’s orbs examined his body. The way he moved to the beat seemed almost too perfect that he couldn’t tear his eyes off of him. It almost seemed like he was ignoring every waving hand of money as the performance of sensual hand gestures over his body was done for him. 

By the time the performance ended he needed another sip of the drink. The silver rings around the digits of his ring finger and pointing one came in contact with the glass before the coldness met his lips as the alcoholic beverage warmed his throat. With his peripheral view he could see his phone lit up. Two new messages showed up under Jeongin’s name, it reading  _ ‘image attached’  _ but before he could grab it to read the other message he got interrupted by a figure approaching him.

“Hey, handsome.” - the previous male voiced, inviting himself on Chan’s lap. His arm automatically looped around the younger’s waist to gently place his hand on it. 

“First time? Never seen such a handsome face here before.”

“How flattering. But you must've seen better things here.” 

“Insecure much? Don’t be. I don’t know how you carry yourself nor do I know you personally but-” - the male trailed his fingers down Chan’s chest, unbuttoning one button of his black silk shirt. “Your visuals really pulled me to you. I’m even more amazed now that I’m able to see you clearer.” 

“That one button really bugged you, hm?” - the comment made the latter chuckle. Creating a crescent shape of his eyes with the gums slightly showing. It immediately made him look younger than how intimidating he represented himself on the stage. 

“How old are you?” - asked Chan.

“Old enough, ha? Why? You wanna be my sugar daddy?” 

“Do I look that fucking old?”

“Do I look that young that you had to ask?” - he raised a brow at him. A mere smile lingered on his lips at the male’s action of pushing his tongue against his inner cheek at his little game. “I’m 22.” 

“26.”

*

The conversation between the two was interrupted by the manager. Chan and Minho exchanging a few words outside the club after that before each bid a goodbye and made their way towards their cars.

Once he slid inside the car, Chan pushed his hand into the pocket of his coat to fish out his phone. The thought of Jeongin’s message came to his mind as he quickly went to check his inbox. It now reads 1am, his message being sent hour and a half ago. 

**yang. 11:34pm**

i went to the building to print the papers you needed. i left them in your office.

_ Image attached. _

The guilt of sending him to print something that will only be signed tomorrow creeped up his body. And with the fact that he worked from home today yet still went to the building twice slowly ate his heart. For no reason the picture he took of the papers displayed on his desk made a wide smile creep onto his lips. He thought that simple action was cute and he decided to blame that thought on alcohol. 

He would type then delete a word or a whole sentence. Debating if he should just let the boy sleep and not disturb him with the vibration of the phone. 

*

_ Fear mixed with the rush of adrenaline washed over his body, paralyzing his mind. The conversation which had to go smoothly turned out into shouting and overused hand gestures by a person who stood next to him.  _

_ The words blended into the loud thunder of murmuring argument as his hands which held the gun low started to slightly tremble. The blurry nameless faces made his eyesight disoriented.  _

_ “Save yourself by killing others or be killed yourself.”  _

_ “I don’t know my place here.” _

_ “You’ll realise your role during the rode of survival.”  _

_ The blood flow rushed down the veins of his arms, brain sending a task to his nerve system of jolting his arms upwards as he quickly worked the trigger. The loud bang echoed through his ears like a high pitch static. The blurry face slowly became visible. Morphed in shock and pain as the figure held his shot arm. _

_ The blood dripped down his shirt and over his trembling fingers, creating a dark contrast of red against the white. The dripping turned into an unrealistic flow of blood streaming over the concrete towards his feet where when he looked at could see his reflection in. _

_ “Jeongin!” _

A harsh jerk of his muscles woke him up from the tight sleep he wanted to escape from. His chest was heaving as the shirt stuck flat against it from the thin layer of sweat. In a swift motion he pushed the sheets off of himself to cool his body. With a last deep inhale followed by a sigh he placed his forearm over his forehead, front facing the ceiling dark ceiling. The collected tears dripped down the sides of his temple, creating darker dot shades on his pillow. 

Only the moonlight and the city’s lights illuminated his dim room. 

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @kitteinnie


End file.
